Making friends

Richard, 11 "I want to make friends, but I don't know how. In my last school I was bullied and kicked around and didn't have any friend. The kids at this school seems to be OK, but I just know I'll do something wrong. Help."

Funny, isn't it, that we just think everyone knows how to make friends. A lot of people don't and I have even found that some bullies end up bullying because they don't know what to do either. Then they get stuck with the label of bully and don't know how to change.

Perhaps the best way to think about making friends is to decide what makes a friend. I asked a group of 13 year old boys and girls to come up with a list of what they liked about their friends. They said that good friends:
show an interest in what people do

• are good at giving compliments without
  
• are good at giving compliments without going overboard
  
• go around with a pleasant expression on their face
  
• laugh at people's jokes
  
• are kind
  
• ask, not demand, to join in
  
• offer to help others with work or carry things
  
• invite people to do something
  
• hang around places where other students are
  
• are welcoming to new students
  
• are good at thinking of something interesting to do
  
• are willing to share
  
• are humorous and tell jokes
  
• are fair
  
• are good at organising games or activities
  

thanks